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| Marriage and the Family; A Woman's Rights in the 18th Century | |
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| Topic Started: 30 Sep 2007, 05:18 AM (273 Views) | |
| Brigadier Percy Kirke | 30 Sep 2007, 05:18 AM Post #1 |
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...or, Why it Sucked to be an 18th Century Woman: During this time-period, marriage was vastly different from the modern-day ideal. To begin with, vast age-differences between husband and wife were not even blinked at (so long as the wife was younger than the husband.) It was quite ordinary for a man 40 years old or even older to marry a 16 year old girl (the time at which a young lady was generally considered marriageable.) Unmarried men and women, but especially unmarried women (called spinsters) were considered the unluckiest of the unlucky. Marriage was expected to produce as many children as possible, and divorce was very nearly unheard-of, although the Anglican church (and ONLY the Anglican church) did allow it in certain very rare circumstances, and only as a result of the man’s wish. While plenty of young people had romantic notions of love, in general marriages were not love-matches. Rather, they were thought of in highly mercenary terms. A "good match" was one that was at or above one’s own social station, and was aspired to by both men and women (it wasn’t just women that sought to marry well). Parents took into consideration the wealth and status of the man or woman that sought to marry their child, not his or her physical attractiveness or other qualities. Marrying beneath oneself was extremely, extremely uncommon. In addition, cousins were very commonly married to one another. A marriage partner had to be approved and was generally carefully arranged by both families, but especially by the woman’s. If her family did not approve of the man who asked for their daughter’s hand, then the marriage would not take place except by elopement – running away with each other (and elopement did not always end in marriage) - which regardless of the ending of the affair was a terrible scandal and extremely uncommon. It was often severely punished as well – imprisonment was not unknown. The marriage itself consisted of essentially total domination of the wife by the husband. She had only what freedoms he chose to allow her. All of her property – all of it – became her husband’s property at the time of the marriage. The wife could not spend so much as ten pounds without asking her husband for the money. A husband could do basically whatever he wanted to his wife; there was no conception of spousal rape, for example. She had very little protection – after all, her husband was expected to protect her, and quis custodiet custodes ipsos? Families were close-knit things, with kinship a much bigger deal than today. They were expected to help each other out. Inheritance was by primogeniture, with the eldest child receiving the lion’s share of the father’s wealth. Children were expected to be respectful to their parents. Defiance, whether at a young age or when the child was in his or her teens, was very strongly punished. "Angst" was not put up with. Restrained behaviour was considered the best quality of a child, followed by being quick of mind and strong of body. In wealthier families, children were often cared for by nurses when young and governesses when older; the parents often had little to do with the upbringing of their children. |
 
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4:10 AM Jul 30
