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Surgeon General's warning:
The following posts are for parody purposes only, though they can be detrimental to one's heath. It is advised that while reading them that one should not be drinking any liquids, chewing, masticating, swallowing, or otherwise be eating any food or beverage. We do not take any responsibility for ruined computers/keyboards, heart attacks or anything bad that may occur during the reading of these posts. We will however, take credit for anything good that happens.

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EzBoard Username: pirateprincesskenobi

First Name: lila
Last Name: kenobi-skywalkr
Nickname: legolinde
Age: 13
Sex: girl
Ethnicity: elfen
Country of Birth: middle earth
Current Whereabouts: port royel
Occupation: pirate
Former Occupation(s): mage
Parents: elrond and galadril
Siblings: arwin
Children: dont be silly

Description:
legolinde is a pritty elf she has long blond hair and pritty blue green eyes when you star in them you feel tranced and do wat she says she wers long dressis and has a big sword that she fights with

Strengths & Weaknesses:
legolind was a fihter in middle earth and fihtes better then any1 in the caribean she is pritty and she is smart just like me
she has no weknessis

History:
legolinde was born in middle earth, and traned by strider to be a ranger fihter and she and legolas were in love she joind the felowship and droped the one medalion into mt doom then she was kidnaped by the corsairs of umbra and tey are pirates and she joined them and go to port royel and met jackie chan he is captan of the black perl and he made her in his crew she find out that norinton nd gilete were her brothels and they are bad boys and they tryd to get jack butt she stopd them and savd the day and then she mets will and elizabith and they r the best friends and then they adopt her as ther chilld sshe stil serve on black perl wit jackie and they go on the new orb blod cwest and entonces ella es una mujer espana y elle esta una amiga de Catrina ella y gorrion y catrina van a la isla y entonces ellos toman todos de los ricos en la isla y van a port royal and then she is elfn agan an she find legolas and they get marid when later she finds that vader is her father

Sample/Past Roleplay:
fludrena qui nomen est tibi y como te llamas y vous sucky dimentra harry potter facit statuam veni vidi vici pilfre donde estoy? pickle juice batman and robin ustedes son locos si uds creditit que eso es realidad obiwan is god aes sedai kill asha'man rand die and ax app

Code: i cant find the rules

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EzBoard EZWhore Username: xX_Katie_Sparrow_Xx

First Name: Katarina
Last Name: Barbossa
Nickname: Katie
Age: 19
Sex: Female
Ethnicity: Irish/English mix
Country of Birth: Scotland
Current Whereabouts: the Black Pearl
Occupation: Pirate/Lady
Former Occupation(s): Blacksmith
Parents: Captain Hector Barbossa, Ella Cummings
Siblings: None
Children: None

Description: If Helen of Troy's face could launch a thousand ships, Katie's could easily launch twice as many. Katie inherited her mother's looks, the same ones that made Barbossa fall in love with her mother. No man could ever resist her mother, and the same is true for Katie. She is so beautiful she could make even the most hardened and evil pirate cry. She has long blond curly hair and she's tall, with good curves in all the right places.

She wears dark blue jeans, tall black high heeled boots that go up to her thighs, and a black ruffly blouse that exposes her bountiful cleavage. She wears a rapier on hip, two pistols in her crimson sash, a knife up each sleeve, a claymore on her back, and two more knives one tucked in each boot, and carries a metal war fan, and has a hairpin in her hair that she can kill people with too.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

Strengths:
Intelligence- Katie is very intelligent, there isn't a man she can't outwit, nor any woman.
Beauty- Men easily fall to her beauty and do whatever she asks of them.
Fighting Skills- There is no person in the world as good as her with fencing. Her aim with a pistol is legendary, and all these fighting skills she was taught by her father, before he went to go serve on the Black Pearl.

Weaknesses:
Emotion- Katie is a very romantic person, and if someone says he loves her, she will fall in love with him and it is easy to break her heart. If that happens she feels very sad, and doesn't do very much.
Furry Animals- If Katie sees a furry animal, she thinks it is so cute, and has to stop whatever she is doing to be with it.
Jack Sparrow- Jack Sparrow is Katie's husband, and if anyone were ever to threaten him, she would be so mad that she's go and try to kill whoever threatened him.

History:
Katie is the daughter of Barbossa and Ella, who was the Princess of Scotland. Ella was supposed to marry a prince, but instead was captured by Barbossa. After many years in captivity with Barbossa she had a daughter, Katie. Barbossa wanted a son, but as his daughter grew, he was happy to have a girl, and taught her everything that he would have taught his son had he had him.

Then Barbossa went away to crew with Jack on the Pearl and brought Katie with him. Serving under Jack, she began to fall in love with him, and he fell in love with her, and then one night he proposed to her. They kept it a secret from everyone knowing that if they knew, it would not be good.

Then one night Barbossa mutinied on Jack, and because Katie sided with she was marooned as well--though not on the same island as Jack. They found another island and dropped her off there, and left her to die, without even the one pistol and shot that they were supposed to give her.

Then a group of rumrunners came by and rescued her, and she found out that they had saved Jack and dropped him off on Tortuga, so she went there searching for him.

When she got to Tortuga she looked everywhere for Jack but could not find him. Instead she signed on with another pirate crew heading to Singapore hoping that she might find him there. While the crew was on there way, they were attacked by an EICo ship, and all the crew was executed but her. She was so beautiful that they couldn't bear to kill her, so they brought her back for Lord Beckett. He branded her with a "P" on her forearm. Beckett was going to hang her, but because she was so beautiful he decided that he wanted to marry her.

On the eve of her wedding to Beckett, whom she did not wish to marry, she escaped, but not before she stole the fabled family jewels of Beckett--a magical treasure worth much money, but very small in size.

She continued on her journey to find her husband, but seemed to always be a step behind him. She's heard that Jack is back in Tortuga looking for a way to outwit Davy Jones, so she is heading there to reunite with him.


Sample/Past Roleplay:
Katie stood in the crow's nest, forlornly looking out over the sea, so choppy, it foamed white at the bow of the ship--like pearly tears sliding down a face. It seemed so sad, like she was, always missing her betrothed.

She could not wait to see him again, it was as if every day they were seperated she died a bit more inside.

She clutched at the pouch in her hand, inside it were two things, a ring that her beloved Jack had given her, and then the family jewels of Beckett--she was sure that once she got back to Jack he would be very happy to receive those. He could add them to the collection they already had--including Barbossa's.

"Soon, my love, soon," she said, knowing that soon enough they would be together, facing against Davy Jones and making love.

Code: What is this anyway? Like...some sort of redemption code? Do I get like 30% off my shoes here?

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Username: SixSecksHott
How did you find out about AG: My mother's sister's son's daughter's cousin's father's wife's in-law's daughter founded it.

First Name: Six
Last Name: N/A
Nickname: N/A
Age: This body is 6th months, but the memories go back 35 years (this will be explained better in the history)
Sex: Female
Ethnicity: Cylon (but only a few know that)
Country of Birth:
Current Whereabouts: Physically on the Battleship Galactica; In Sparrow's mind
Occupation: Well, none...it's complex read the history
Former Occupation(s): Saboteur
Parents: None
Siblings: All the Cylons
Children: None (but claims one as her own)

Avatar: Tricia Helfer

As Six appears to Jack:


As Six appears to the Royal Navy:


Description: Six is a highly attractive Cylon female. She is perfectly shaped, with large breasts, tiny waist, and nice hips. She has bleach-blonde hair (but does not bleach) that frames her face, and dark brown eyes. She likes to wear slinky or revealing dresses, in fine fabrics that cling to her every curve, and expose her bountiful cleavage.

Her breasts are beautiful and fine specimens. They are flawless, smooth and firm, as only Cylon engineering can produce. They also seem to magnetically attract men's hands...as well as...other parts of their anatomy.

Strengths & Weaknesses: Six, as a Cylon has physical strength beyond that which humans can possibly dream of. She's highly intelligent and knows more about everything than anyone other than a Cylon does. She is very good at seducing men--they would stand no more chance pitted against her than a moth does against a lamp. As a weakness, Six, like the Eight model seems to be extra susceptive to love. When she fell in love it began to cloud her vision, and make her question her mission. She is beginning to think that perhaps eradicating pirates is not the best idea...other than that, she is perfect in every way. Especially as a girlfriend.

History: (okay, a bit of an explanation first. I'm sort of adapting Battlestar Galactica to be in Pirates of the Caribbean, only instead of the Cylons trying to destroy humans, they only want to kill...like pirates. So they're allied with the Navy. Because the Navy just like...is evil. Like the Cylons, oh, and instead of the Battlestar Galactica it's gonna be the Battleship Galactica, lol! I made that up myself! Pwns!)

The Cylons developed models that look human, so they don't look like chrome toasters anymore. They Cylons found out that if piracy never existed on Earth, than Earth of the future would never exist, so they wouldn't have to worry about pesky humans anymore. So they traveled back in time.

Six was assigned to serve on the Black Pearl with Jack Sparrow, and to manage to steal secrets from him that would allow the Cylons to get past the pirate defenses. Six succeeded only too well. Not only was Sparrow willingly eating out of her hand, but so was everyone else in the crew. She gave the secrets back to the other Cylons, and then they succeeded in destroying all the pirate bases in the Mediterranean and the Orient.

Six did not want to see Jack die, because she had fallen in love with him too, and so she saved him by throwing him down on his knees and blocking the nuclear blast with her body and she died.

She woke up and did not know if Sparrow survived. Later she was told that he did, and was very happy, so she did not only see him in her head and have conversations with him.

When Sparrow sailed away, suddenly he started seeing Six everywhere, and it wasn't just because there were multiple copies of her, lolz. She put a chip in his brain that ran a program in his head that allowed him to see her.

(so yeah, I'll be rping both the Six in Jack's head and the normal one, and then all th

Sample/Past Roleplay: So like Six walked into a pub. All the men stopped to stare at her, and like drooled! So great was the amount of their drooling that they flooded all of Shipwreck Cove and it sunk into the sea...of drool! Ew. Anyway, Six died then. So then she woke up in a new body on the Dauntless.

The other Cylons stood around her--Boomer, Doral, Xena, and Mercer.

"You've done well," the creepy Mercer clone said.

"Welcome back, my sister," said Xena.

"Don't acknowledge me," she heard a familiar voice say, and gasped! It was Jack Sparrow! The pirate she had seduced into giving her the secrets so that they could destroy all the pirate bases in the Mediterranean.

"If they know you see me, then they will kill you...well, so you don't come back."

"Oka--thank you," she said, remembering to not address him and only address the other Cylons.

"Our Navy and East India Company friends are doing well," said Doral.

"Do they know that you are a Cylon?" asked Six.

"No," answered Mercer with his creepy smile.

"But they are becoming too dangerous, one of them, the Admiral Norrington suspects too much. He must be eliminated." Xena said.

"Who will do that?" Six asked.

Just then Seven of Nine entered.

"Six," she said nodding her head to the other blonde sex symbol, "we must accelerate our plans, we have Tortuga surrounded by the Navy. Once they send their Army to destroy the town, we must wipe out the Navy and East India Company. You're job, Six, is to kill Norrington."

"Who will you kill, Seven?" asked Xena.

"I will kill Jack Sparrow."

"NO!" Six yelled before she could stop herself. All the Cylons turned to stare at her.

"I mean, shouldn't we reward him for his faithful service?" Six said.

Xena looked suspiciously at Sex.

"She will betray us all!"

Code: "By your command!"

Answer here if you give permission for a link to exist on the website to your bio: Frak yeah!

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Name: Kara Beckett
Age: 16
Gender: female
Parents: John and Carrie Kenobi

Description: Kara is a beautiful woman, with short blond hair, sea-blue eyes, and fair skin. She's of average height, a bit taller than her husband, but not too much. She is well muscled, since her job requires it, and usually wears black, to help her blend in with the shadows when she takes on her opponents. She wears three pistols, a cutlass, all tucked in her belt, and four other knives hidden all around her body. She wears a black shirt, tight red bodice with pearls sewn in it, tight men's pants, and tall black high heeled boots. She wears her hair back in a scarf. She wears earrings and lots of jewelry--and a pendant made in the shape of the east indea trading logo.

Personalty: Kara is a firey individual. She doesn't like being talked back to, but always does what her husband asks of her, because she deeply loves him. She's smart, and not afraid to do whatever is necesary to help her husband. She doesn't mind the site of blood and enjoys fighting. People might call her cruel, and while that is sometimes true, it isn't. She is doing what she thinks is best for the world, because she knows her husband knows best.

History: Kara was born in the American colonies, and moved to England when she was 10. She met Beckett then and they fell in love--childhood sweathearts. But her parents forbid her to be with him, so she ran away to be with him. He was a noble and had a job with the EITco and was starting to try and wipe out all pirates. Kara agreed with him and he sent her to an assasin's academy in japan where they trained her to be a great warrior. She returned to him and they were still in love so they got married.

They heard of all the pirates in the carribean and decided that they must be wiped out because they were a threat to them and their company. So they moved to Port Royel.

But there is one pirate Kara is not sure sure she wants to kill. His name is...Jack Sparrow. She heard that while she was training to be an assasin that her husband had him branded as a pirate, and that Jack left a mark on him. She wants to know what that mark is, so she wants to hunt down Jack to find out.

Which Side: Good, on her husbands side
Occupation: wife, assasin, working for her husband
Ship: none

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Username: Kara Beckett
How did you find out about AG: I saw the add hotlnked on nother board

First Name: Karalinettiama
Last Name: Beckett
Nickname: Kara
Age: 16
Sex: *heehee* female, you bettr believe it!
Ethnicity: ninja
Country of Birth: america
Current Whereabouts: port royel
Occupation: wife, assasin, working for her husband
Former Occupation(s):  student
Parents: John and Carrie Kenobi
Siblings: Peter, Paul, and Mary, Mercer,
Children: none yet but shull eventuly die in childbirth having twins, a boy and a gurl and theyll grow up to kill all pirates when they team up with jack's daughter Madi who gets taught her ninja ninja skills

Avatar:

Description: Kara is a beautiful woman, with short blond hair, sea-blue eyes, and fair skin. She's of average height, a bit taller than her husband, but not too much. She is well muscled, since her job requires it, and usually wears black, to help her blend in with the shadows when she takes on her opponents. She wears three pistols, a cutlass, all tucked in her belt, and four other knives hidden all around her body. She wears a black shirt, tight red bodice with pearls sewn in it, tight men's pants, and tall black high heeled boots. She wears her hair back in a scarf. She wears earrings and lots of jewelry--and a pendant made in the shape of the east indea trading logo.

Kara is a firey individual. She doesn't like being talked back to, but always does what her husband asks of her, because she deeply loves him. She's smart, and not afraid to do whatever is necesary to help her husband. She doesn't mind the site of blood and enjoys fighting. People might call her cruel, and while that is sometimes true, it isn't. She is doing what she thinks is best for the world, because she knows her husband knows best.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

History: Kara was born in the American colonies, and moved to England when she was 10. She met Beckett then and they fell in love--childhood sweathearts. But her parents forbid her to be with him, so she ran away to be with him. He was a noble and had a job with the EITco and was starting to try and wipe out all pirates. Kara agreed with him and he sent her to a ninja academy in japan where they trained her to be a great warrior. She returned to him and they were still in love so they got married.

they spend many years together and she kilt all of the others in the company so beky could take over the company (she likes calling him Becky). She was his greatest wife ever cuz she did all thees things to help him get in power and stay their.

Then thhey heard of all the pirates in the carribean and decided that they must be wiped out because they were a threat to them and their company. So they moved to Port Royel.

But there is one pirate Kara is not sure sure she wants to kill. His name is...Jack Sparrow. She heard that while she was training to be an assasin that her husband had him branded as a pirate, and that Jack left a mark on him. She wants to know what that mark is, so she wants to hunt down Jack to find out.

Sample/Past Roleplay:

Code: i'm too stupid to look in the rules

Answer here if you give permission for a link to exist on the website to your bio: theirs a websight?

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Username: jacksmum
How did you find out about AG: i stalk someone on here and so came here

First Name: Ouagajiamnomesh
Last Name: Sparrow
Nickname: Mummy
Age: Dead (sort of)
Sex: Not really anymore...necrophilia...just not my thing
Ethnicity: hard to tell with the shrunken head...asian perhaps?
Country of Birth: i don't know, this is just so hard! Singapore...for kicks
Current Whereabouts: Jack's belt
Occupation: collectible? I dunno, heads really don't have occupations much..
Former Occupation(s): mother
Parents: none, she was birthed of a foam in the sea caused by cronos being castrated
Siblings: weatherby swann?
Children: Jack Sparrow, who else?

why isn't there a spot for a spouse?

spouse: Teague (heehee, I created one myself!)

Avatar: Um...whoever did that head on like...the third harry potter movie or whatever that one, only...female

Description: Well, she's a head. There's not really much one can say about that is there? She's shrunken so she isn't the same size as she used to be. And her skins kinda dark too, and she has dreads...couple gold teeth. I don't know what else a pirate mother would have. Maybe Binky in her mouth?

Oooh, ooh! Before I forget. She has glass eyes, cause you have to replace them. Yeah, I learned that in school.

Strengths & Weaknesses: Well, she's kinda dead so...that's a weakness? I dunno. She's small so she's easily concealed, that a strength....and this section looks plural, but I can't think about anything else so how about a schilling and we forget them, eh?

History: Well, its the classic story of boy meets girl, boy loves girl, and girl gets pregnant with Jack Sparrow. Mummy met Teague and they fell in love and did all sorts of nasty that results in a kid (but they had to like, try several times cause Teagues like so old and prolly needs viagra to play, ya know? ).

yeah, so she has the kid, raises him, then teague takes him away to be his apprentice pirate (I bet they apprenticed, you like, apprenticed for everything back then! I wanna be a pirate apprentice, Jack can I be yours? kissy kiss). so she got kinda depresed and had like post mortem depression or somehing, dunno what that is but it just liek, seems to be a good way for her to die. and so like she become an ornament on Teagues then Jack's belt.

And she's really proud of her boy.

Sample/Past Roleplay: What the hell? I'm going to play a shrunken head? What kind of *censored* story can I write about it.

*huffs*

She hung there on his belt, like a dead pirate in a noose.

See! A simile beat that.

Code: dunno what this is for, but jack if you are reading this--I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES! Call me!

Answer here if you give permission for a link to exist on the website to your bio: only if I get Jack's number, lol

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Username: Mrs Beckett
How did you find out about AG: Advertised on here.

First Name: Catherine Lynette
Last Name: Beckett
Nickname: Cathy, Mother
Age: 54
Sex: Female
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Country of Birth: England
Current Whereabouts: Port Royale
Occupation: Domineering Mother
Former Occupation(s): Wife
Parents: Dead now
Siblings: None she cares to speak of
Children: Edward (eldest), Cutler (youngest)

Avatar: Robin Williams



Watch out!

Rawr! She's on fire!

Description: Mrs Beckett is a kindly looking elderly lady, who's plumb as a sausage pudding. Her kindly looks, and her pleasant voice though, only hide her true personality. She's an evil, evil woman. To anyone outside the family she comes across as cruel and horrible, but in the family she's a nasty bi...witch. She loves to beat her children (except for the eldest Edward, whom she adores and thinks is absolutely perfect). Poor Cutler, the youngest is the one most often beaten. When he was younger and smaller she would turn him over her knee and spank him until he told her that he loved her, but now that he's older, she likes to to tie him to the bed and flog him with a cat-o--nine-tails.

Strengths & Weaknesses: Mrs Beckett is a big, large, strong woman. She's a strong as an ox, with wits more than enough to match it. This all comes from when she used to be a piratess. Other than that, she is very susceptible to flattery and is cruel and vindictive.

History: Mrs Beckett wasn't always Mrs Beckett. She used to be Miss Beckingham. When she was young she was kidnapped by pirates and abused. They raised her to be a strong piratess, and she hated them for it. She eventually became a piratess captain, and was about to make a name for herself when she was captured by Mr Beckett, of the East India Company. He took her as her captive and married her, beating her into submission every day. This treatment Mrs Beckett visited upon her own youngest son, Cutler, whom she hated and thought was a great waste of space. She made Cutler learn to hate her, and anything to do with her, including piracy.

As he grew older, he was still small, a runt, and it embarassed Mrs Beckett greatly that he was hers, so she took to locking him in a spare room while Mr Beckett was out working long nights, and taught him how he would best please her.

She eventually had to let him go though, when Mr Beckett found out what she was doing with her son. He was sent out to India to learn how to run the Company, and Mr Beckett ignored his wife from then on. That suited her fine, and gave her the perfect opportunity to poison his tea one afternoon. Mr Beckett died, but not before Mrs Beckett had him begging for mercy.

This was around the time when Cutler went to the Caribbean to arrest Sparrow and the others.

Mrs Beckett grew lonely, her eldest son was serving the King, and she had nothing to do, no one to criticize, so she went to the Caribbean to live with her son, and yell at him, because that makes her happy.

Sample/Past Roleplay:
"You filthy, horrible, no good excuse for a son!" Mrs Beckett shrieked, punching Cutler and sending him sprawling to the floor.

"I hate you boy! Did you hear that, hate you! You and your miserable filthy father--ungrateful useless bastards, both!"

Cutler winced as his mother picked him up off the floor and threw him into the wall. The wall had a dent in it where he hit it.

Suddenly something crashed through the window. Assassins!

"They're here to kill you!" She yelled at Cutler, upset that he was so ineffectual as to allow his enemies to live. "I shouldn't have to do this for you!"

"Yiyiyiyiyiyiyi!" She screamed, running forward and doing a cartwheel, then flipping up onto the couch and running across the wall where she kicked one of them in the jaw and sent him to the floor unconscious. She back flipped suddenly and pulled out a folding sword from her pocket and parried an assassin's stab, before she roundhouse kicked him.

The two lay on the floor and the rest fled in fear.

Mrs Beckett dropped the folding sword and walked over to where Cutler cowered. She hauled him to his feet and threw him out the door.

"Don't come back until you make something of yourself!"

Code: Cutler! Boy! Tell me this now, you piece of filth!

Answer here if you give permission for a link to exist on the website to your bio: Of course, dearie. It would honor me greatly.

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First Name: Madonna (LiKe a ViRgIn)
Last Name: Sparrow!!
Nickname: Madi
Age: 16
Sex: Female
Ethnicity: Caucassion
Country of Birth: omg... i think England
Current Whereabouts: Black Pearl!! booyah
Occupation: PiRaTe/FeMmE FaTaLe
Former Occupation(s): pirat
Parents: i dunno
Siblings: uhm Jack Sparrow
Children: none.. god, i mena shes ONLY 16

Description: uhm shes purty i mean shes purtier than elizabeth cuz lizs just uuuugly. shes gots blondie hare nd blue eyez and biig boobs, slender waste i mean like the puuurfect bod! shes alwayz dressd in PiRaTe cloths nd a hat lyk how dat pirate girl in da movie had. ya dats da one.

Strengths & Weaknesses: shes strong nd can use every typ of wepon plus she can kill a man w.her bear hands. jack toght her like evryting she needs 2 kno. shes beutiful nd kind nd karing to every1! her weakness is shes afraid of spiders

History:
madi was born in california.she hated her lyfe but love pirates of the caribean.so she lyk.. travld back in time 2 da bahamas nd found herself on de black pearl w.jack

jack and madi went everywere 2getha.they were the bestest of brothers and sistahs.jack toght madi everyting and dey servd on da black pearl(booyah!)she was toght like all da wepons and hand2hand.all the dudes alwayz lyked her nd asked her out.but she only lyked will turner who ditched liz to go out w.her

THE END. .. or NOT since ill be rp-ing the gal in ur board

Sample/Past Roleplay:
I dont needa do 1 cuz u already who iam

Code: huh?