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| shoutmix baby scene; preserved for posterity! | |
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| Topic Started: 20 Dec 2009, 11:37 PM (175 Views) | |
| sheshells | 20 Dec 2009, 11:37 PM Post #1 |
Able Seaman
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5:33 PM Dec 20, 2009 # woman "You there, boy. Hold my baby." # woman "*shoves it into Oxley's arms*" # Oxley "*panics*" # Oxley "Um, um... I gots places to be, Miss!" # Whyte "HAHAHA.. *covers his mouth*" # woman "*calls over her shoulder* It's MISSES! What do you take me for? I'll be back in a bit!!! *storms away*" # Oxley "*shoves baby into Whyte's arms* There. See how /you/ like it!" # baby "*looks at Whyte and cries*" # Whyte "HEY! She asked you not me *shoves the baby back to Oxley* You keep it!" Oxley "Try givin' it some rum?" baby "*looks up at Oxley and calms down*" Oxley "You don't have to laugh, then. 'Sides, you's more used to kids then me! *shoves it back to Whyte*" Sam Oxley "You can't give a baby rum!" Sam Oxley "Babies like milk. Give it milk." Whyte "See, he even likes you better!... well.. he.. or she... IT." Whyte "ACK! *holds the baby to Sam* you take it, you're the oldest of us three!" Oxley "I ain't got no milk, have I, Sam!" Sam Oxley "*takes baby*" baby "*cries again*" Sam Oxley "I think it wants you, Tommy." Oxley "Well, I don't want IT!" Terry Whyte ".....we could always smack it. That'll make it quiet!" Sam Oxley "Go ahead. See if it works." Sam Oxley "*deposits baby in Oxley's arms again*" Terry Whyte "..I ain't smacking a baby. Who do you hold me fer?...TOM the baby doesn't cry in your arms.. YOU HOLD IT NOW! *grin*" Oxley "*doubtful* I don't think you's s'posed to do that to babies." baby "*stares up at Toms coat, starts sucking on a button*" Oxley "Hey! Gerroff it!" baby "*coos and smiles in amusement*" Sam Oxley "I think you got a friend, Tommy." Terry Whyte "What? How many babies did you have?.. or baby brothers or sisters huh? :p" Sam Oxley "He's a natural papa, ain'tee!" Oxley "None. *indicates Sam with a thumb* He's the only brother I got - and you stop suckin' me jacket!" Terry Whyte "Haha... he's a natural mama you mean, Sammy?" baby "*grins*" baby "*and drools on button*" Oxley "I's goin' to flatten the pair of you, I will!" |
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| sheshells | 20 Dec 2009, 11:43 PM Post #2 |
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Able Seaman
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Sam Oxley "Babies like to chew on things. Maybe it'd like a plug o' bacca." Terry Whyte "He's lookin' fer milk. I bet. *grins* Tommy.. Tommietta as ye ought ter be called!... don't be shy ter take care of yer baby!" Sam Oxley "*covers eyes* Please DO be shy. I don't wanna see yer tits." Oxley "Terry! You's dead meat...! Got any rum, there, Sam?" Terry Whyte "*laughing* Sam, he's your brother. .I bet you saw those before.. jus'.. probably not feeding a baby! *bursts out in chuckles and laughs*" Oxley "*takes advantage of Soxley having his eyes covered and dumps the baby on him*" Sam Oxley "*nearly drops the baby* Wha-? Tommy! This'un's YOUR baby." Oxley "Is NOT. 'Sides, your tits're bigger'n mine!" passersby "*stare*" Terry Whyte "....*covers his mouth preffering NOT to comment on that*" Sam Oxley "Keep yer voice down, Tommy. Here, you take it, it don't like me./" Oxley "Well, and I don't like it, neither! Someone else can look after it fer a bit!" McIntyre "What in the bleedin' infernal hell...?" Terry Whyte "But.. but Tommy. Look at its eyes.. look at its face.. it wuws you! *pinches Tom's cheek* XD" baby "*smiles at Oxley*" Sam Oxley "But it likes you." Sam Oxley "It don't like the rest of us." Oxley "I don't care! I don't like it!" McIntyre "Give it to Bell. He'll see it gets took care of." Sam Oxley "Which one's Bell then? *looks around hopefully*" James Bell "*grunts*" Terry Whyte "He can take care of babies? *blinks at McIntyre* but he ain't got tits!" Oxley "Him, I think, Sam." Oxley "/Will/ you shurrup about tits, Terry." Sam Oxley "*hisses* Shut up, Terry!" McIntyre "Oh he don't take care of 'em like mums do." Sam Oxley "Hullo there! Hullo mate! Is you Bell?" James Bell "*looks offended that somebody needs to ask if he's a Bell*" McIntyre "*gets up from his chair* I'll be outside havin' a pipe. Hope you lads ain't too 'tached to that baby. *goes outside*" Oxley "Oh, just put it down in the corner, Sam, and let it be." |
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| sheshells | 20 Dec 2009, 11:59 PM Post #3 |
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Able Seaman
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Sam Oxley "*persists* Bell, mate, I hear you'se good with babies?" Terry Whyte "..I bet 'ell eat the baby!" James Bell "*eyes the pink thing warily* Ain't so much dif'rent'n a grown man, I s'pose." Terry Whyte "The taste, Bell?" James Bell "No. 'Ow ya kills 'em." Oxley "*grins and reaches for a bottle of rum*" Sam Oxley "*hisses* Shut UP, Terry! Who ever hearda eatin' a baby?" Sam Oxley "*freezes, realizing what Bell has just said* Wha...?" James Bell "*looks miffed* Aintcha wantin' that took care of?" Oxley "*looks up* Here, y'can't do that!" Terry Whyte "No, think we jus' want yer to feed it Bell.. n'.. see if its smelly!" Oxley "Took care of, mebbe - but not like that!" James Bell "..." Sam Oxley "Here, Tommy, gimme that rum." Oxley "*pours a tankard for himself then passes the botle over*" Sam Oxley "*swaps armloads with his brother, handing over the baby while taking the rum bottle*" Oxley "Here! Get out of it, you! Can't go doin' that!" James Bell "*snorts* Waste of good rum." Sam Oxley "*nods at Bell* Probably right. *drinks the rest of it*" |
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| sheshells | 21 Dec 2009, 12:22 AM Post #4 |
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Able Seaman
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James Bell "Better off snuffin' the bloody thing... *grumbles about stupid boys*" Oxley "She better get back here double-quick..." Andrew Shepherd "*goes running past, wearing an officer's coat and hat*" baby "*resumes chewing and slobbering on the button*" Sam Oxley "*starts to salute*" Oxley "What'n the... Hey! Gerroff it! *dips a finger in his rum and offers that* Don't you go eatin' me coat, you." Random officer "*from somewhere outside* @#&$%!!!!" Sam Oxley "Tom, quick, hide the baby!" Oxley "Oh, F£$&! *disappears bhind the bar and sits on the floor*" Andrew Shepherd "*howls with laughter and climbs up onto the bar to dance a hornpipe, despite the coat's long tails*" baby "*gurgles loudly*" Oxley "You... *scrambles up and thrusts the baby at Shepherd* You look after it, then." Sam Oxley "An-drew! Whatchoo doin'?! *scandalized and laughing*" |
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| sheshells | 21 Dec 2009, 01:35 AM Post #5 |
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Able Seaman
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Andrew Shepherd "I'm dancin', can't ya see?" Oxley "You come in here and upset the baby, you cheer it up again." Sam Oxley "Yer gonna get in trouble! Whose kit is all that?" Oxley "Big trouble. Oh, bugger. *dips a finger back in the rum and offers it to the bby to suck*" Andrew Shepherd "*grins and swipes a tankard off the bar* Cap'n Stevenson's." Oxley "Oh, he's goin' to kill you. String you up by the bollocks, I shouldn't wonder. Want to hold the babby an' let it suck his buttons for him?" Andrew Shepherd "Sure!" Oxley "*passes the baby over* Give it some rum if it starts yowlin'. Though it like sucin' buttons too. *wipes his own button off*" baby "*fusses*" Sam Oxley "Maybe you need to burp it. They burp babies, don't they?" Andrew Shepherd "*rocks the baby a little* Prolly." Oxley "I'll burp /you/, Sam Oxley! Put it over your shoulder - best get a cloth there first if you don't want it throwin' up on that coat." baby "*chews on epaulettes*" Sam Oxley "How's come you knows so much about babies, Tommy?" Oxley "I watched Rosie next door with hers, didn't I? Like you done, knowin' 'bout burpin' em and all." Sam Oxley "I never paid 'em much mind, always bein' so noisy and smellin so bad." |
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| sheshells | 21 Dec 2009, 02:09 AM Post #6 |
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Able Seaman
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Oxley "You never pay anythin' much mind, you don't, Sam Oxley." Sam Oxley "*takes a swig from a rum bottle* Not if I can helps it." Andrew Shepherd "*grins at the baby* Go on, ya lovely ol' thing!" baby "*babbles and spews onto epaulettes*" Oxley "*chuckles* There's rum here for it. *pushes his tankard over*" Andrew Shepherd "'Oi!" baby "*squeals happily*" Andrew Shepherd "Ah. *eyes the epualettes* Guess that's arrigh' then." Oxley "'Least it ain't your coat, huh?" Sam Oxley "Aww, it sure likes you. Or them epaulettes maybe." Andrew Shepherd "Mebbe." Sam Oxley "Wouldn't you like to keep it? As a pet? When it grows up a bit, it can do your cleaning and such." Andrew Shepherd "Don't be stoopid. It ain't a maid." Oxley "Oh, don't mind him. He's allus bin like that." Sam Oxley "Hey! What's wrong with it doin' some work for you? It's only right if you raise it and feed it and all." Andrew Shepherd "Well it can't do much more'n slobber all over, can it?" Sam Oxley "Just wait a few years and you'll put 'em to good use." Andrew Shepherd "I gotta carry this 'round fer a few years?!" Oxley "No, you don't. He's havin' you on." Sam Oxley "Might be worth your while though..." Oxley "You don't watch it, you'll be lookin' after it, Sam Oxley!" Random officer "*still outside* Where the bloody hell did that devil boy go?!" baby "*laughs loudly*" Terry Whyte "Mmm.. it could be cleanin' all our kit.. could it? That would be a swell idea!" Oxley "It's a /baby/, in case you hadn't noticed!" Terry Whyte "Not now you ninny! But when it grows up some!" Oxley "It'll take some growin' up afore it's any good, y'know. *offers it a bit more rum*" Terry Whyte "Don't ye get t' thing drunk.. dunno why you'd want t'." Oxley "Why not? Ain't no 'arm in it, is there." Terry Whyte "It is, you's wastin' them rum!.. which we could drink it all nice!" Oxley "I ain't givin' a whole mug to the kid - jus' a bit at a time. *dips finger in the tankard and offers it to the baby* See?" Andrew Shepherd "*eyes Oxley warily* Don't be spillin' that on the coat!" Oxley "Warn't. Ain't that wishful to waste it, am I?" Terry Whyte "you lot ain't got no idea what to do with a baby!" Oxley "Oh? And you 'ave?" Terry Whyte "Yeah. .. sure I do." Andrew Shepherd "Bollocks." Oxley "What 'e siad. Rubbish. You ain't a girl. 'Sides, ever'one like a bit o' rum. Don't they, babby?" Terry Whyte "You give it any more rum n' it will die. *shrugs*" James Bell "*snorts*" Oxley "Ain't nothin' died of a taste o' rum yet, Chalky." Terry Whyte "Don't make me rearrange ye' face, for callin' me that Toxy....n' ain't true. too much good can kill ye!" Oxley "Well, don't go callin' me Toxy then. An' it's only bin a taste. Or two." Terry Whyte "Fine. ..or three.. or four. Admit it.. ye's trying ter get t' baby drunk!" Oxley "I ain't! 'Sides, it likes it!" Jacob Williams "You were feeding alcohol to a baby? *shocked*" James Bell "They wou'n't let me snuff it." Oxley "Was on'y a taste rum. Wasn't doin' no 'arm to it." Jacob Williams "What?!? What sort of horrible monster are you?" Oxley "*hides*" Jacob Williams "Snuff it! Good God!" Oxley "Ain't horrible. Was jus' leetin' it have a taste, is all" James Bell "Well aye." James Bell "They said they wanted it took care of. Then din't let me see it got took care of." Jacob Williams "Have any of you any children?" Oxley "Do I loook old 'nough to have kids?!" James Bell "*scoffs*" Jacob Williams "*looks down at Oxley* You could have siblings." Oxley "He's older'n me!" Sam Oxley "I got a younger brother. Him. *jerks a thumb*" Jacob Williams "Well, in that case. But still, have none of you a shred of intelligence amongst you?" Oxley "Well... /you/ take it then!" James Bell "*looks affronted* Callin' me stupid, are ya?" Jacob Williams "Good heavens, no! I already have a child." Jacob Williams "*looks at Bell* You don't know?" Oxley "*shoves baby into Williams' arms*" Jacob Williams "No! No! No! Take it back! *holds it out*" James Bell "*grabs Williams by the cravat* Wrong answer." Jacob Williams "Yow! I've got a kid here!" Oxley "Um... Bell? Don't make a mess, please." Oxley "*takes baby back and hides behind the bar*" James Bell "*waits until Oxley's gone before lifting Wiliams up by his neckcloth* Now. Let's us talk." Jacob Williams "Unhand me!" James Bell "No." Oxley "Um... Um, Bell? That, um, mightn't be a good idea..." Jacob Williams "Let me go!" James Bell "No, I thinks it is. *almost grins* Oh. So ya wants lettin' go?" Jacob Williams "You put me down gently!" Oxley "Try askin' him p'litely..." James Bell "Gently, is it? *strides to the door and opens it* Gently it is, then. *chucks Williams out*" Oxley "*blinks* That was /gentle/?!" Springfield "He's alive, ain't he?" James Bell "I opened the bloody door for 'im, 'stead of 'eavin' 'im through it. *shuits door and stamps back to his chair*" Oxley "*subsides* Ah. Right. Yeah..." baby "*has become fussy*" |
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1:36 AM Sep 10
